One of the most profound gifts of astronumerology is the experiential wisdom it has given me that there are distinct life cycles, energies and themes that characterize the chapters of our lives. The planets do not cause events, they are symbolic language that bring light to the karma your soul has accumulated over many lifetimes, and the small slice of karma (represented by the birth chart) that you will have to try to balance in this lifetime. Nothing lasts forever, everything is always changing. When the planets move to certain positions, the entire circumstances characterizing your life can change dramatically. I have seen this repeatedly when people get a major outer planet transit to an inner planet, move into a new mahadasha, or have an eclipse on their sun, ascendant, moon or chart ruler; there is a huge shift in both the internal and external worlds.
Most people live in the past or future. By thinking about the past, you trap yourself in an unnecessary prison of regret, guilt, hopelessness, pointless repetitive analysis, perhaps wishing things would have went differently only if....
In this state you can't free your mind to focus on the present, to think about the things that really matter, the type of focus that will move you closer to self-realization. No matter how much you worry about how to avoid certain things in the future, if it is your destiny these events will happen at the appointed time. However, the funny thing is that most of the worst case scenarios we dread will never happen. Even if it does, we can see in retrospect how that closed door eventually lead to much brighter things that we could never have anticipated. What our enemies intend for our harm, God always uses for our good. It is all in God's divine timing and plan, which can sometimes be hard to understand from our own limited human awareness because we can't see the bigger picture.
The teaching of the East is that the more you express a particular emotion such as sadness, anger, or vindictiveness, the deeper the samskara becomes for that emotion, and instead of 'purging' it out of our system like we are taught in the West, the tendency will only become a stronger part of your character. This can lead to problems in interpersonal relationships, which will lead to more intense karma to burn later. This is why the goal of meditation is equanimity, to have highs nor lows in response to the ever changing world but to remain peaceful regardless of what types of situations come your way; to observe your emotions but not get caught up in them. You don't want to repress your emotions either, so that is why it is necessary to find a healthy outlet to work out negative emotions such as deep breathing, meditation, journalling, psychotherapy or exercise, and to reduce the intensity and frequency of negative emotions by having a good self-care routine as a preventative measure.
The mistakes, tragedies, and difficult events of the past are not alive. You bring it to life by choosing to think about it. Yes, it is a choice, you can recognize the thought and choose to stop that thought chain (that probably repeats multiple times a day), but this takes a steady meditation or mindfulness practice, as well as a focus on the breath to bring yourself back to the present moment, to come back into your body. You can choose to bring it back with a mantra, an affirmation, and having firm intention that those negative past experiences will no longer stain your future. You can take the lessons and the wisdom but not the pain and suffering. You may have needed the suffering to bring you to the deeper lesson. Once you have burned the karma by living through it, there is no need to keep re-living those instances.
Michael Newton was a clinical hypnotherapist that conducted sessions for thousands of people from all walks of life from all over the world. He put them in a state of super consciousness so that their higher self, their soul, could speak through their bodies about relevant past lifetimes that are affecting them at present. They had no conscious memory of this, and these sessions were videotaped so they could hear what they said. The soul will communicate guidance for the present lifetime about how to make more enlightened choices, maybe to avoid the disempowering patterns of previous lifetimes. In Destiny of Souls and Journey of Souls he discusses how the majority of souls choose the bodies they are to incarnate in from a handful of choices. They see a brief movie of the conditions of the person's life and important life events that person will go through (karmic events and conditions observed in the birth chart) and willingly choose to inhabit that body to restore karmic balance. The goal is to one day get off the wheel of birth and death. If they don't learn a particular lesson, they may get multiple attempts at the lesson with different people in the same life, or it may have to be put off to another lifetime. The soul belongs to a group, usually 3 to 20 souls, which keep reincarnating together playing different roles each time (father, mother, sibling, spouse, child, close friend, guru, student etc.). When you don't successfully complete a lesson, the roles could be different but the challenge remains the same.
The takeaway from Newton's work is that you should not judge the events in your life as good or bad, to try to avoid challenges and just settle for the path of least resistance because it is the easiest or least painful. Every experience is meant for your higher good. As Thích Nhất Hạnh says in the video below, "not only is the lotus flower a wonder but the mud that helps to produce the lotus is also a wonder. Without the mud, there would not be the lotus." Your soul knows the karmic balance you are here to fulfill and these events that are happening for you, are chances to learn lessons, for your self-realization. We only label events and circumstances as 'bad' or 'good', due to societal and cultural conditioning.
Living in the present allows for the best chances at learning life's karmic lessons. The gift of the present is the sharpness, the energy, the feeling of aliveness, peace and clarity that you can never get when your mind is absorbed in the regrets of the past and anxiety about the future. When a relationship does not work out despite your best efforts and intentions, let it go, release the person from your thoughts because holding on will strengthen the karmic connection and ensure that you must meet again. Please watch this video from Thích Nhất Hạnh who teaches us how to cultivate mindfulness in your mind and body, and discover the beauty of living in the present.